My Personal God

I think I was like 11 when I was sitting on a terrace and eating guavas. One of them tastes a bit funny so I dumped it in a pot in which a rose was growing for long but never bear a flower. My grandma used to say everything biodegradable turns into compost, and that way energy gets transferred to another plant. I thought that spoiled guava will turn into a beautiful rose one day. After a few days, we actually saw some buds on the rose plant and a tiny little guava tree appeared next to it. I took it out carefully and transferred it in the Aangan.

I used to sit next to it for hours, staring at it, whenever a new branch appears, It gave me joy that I could never be able to put it in words, whenever a leaf dries out it made me worried if a caterpillar eats a leaf, it hurts me inside and I move them to another plant. In no time it grew taller than me. I moved out of the house for further studies before it started to bear fruits. Whenever I visit home I found it in different shape and structure as if it was morphing into a different individual, so was i.

It spoke to me in many ways, It rustles to remind me that I am fucking alive. It says don’t forget about your roots, be there… be still… be calm. Some scars appear on its trunk and on my skin too. I see no obvious reason, but let’s not bother about them we need to grow, we need to learn about our surroundings, it says. We need to protect those who rely on us. Those birds nesting on the branches, those insects crawling underneath, friends, they all are one big family of ours. Let them take a piece of you if that makes them happy. You’ve got nothing to lose, You’ll still grow, grow bigger and better.

It doesn’t matter what our ancestry we come from, a bitter spoiled fruit it maybe, but what matters is what we give. A beautiful juicy fruit, I eat it and I feel the tree is part of me now. The energy is transferred and I feel am a slightly better person than I was. A part of its secret of life was taken away by an unknown bird and disbursed somewhere in the wild where it’ll grow again. Grow again, another God within. Soothing the heart of more spirits and souls.I don’t feel the need to have another one that has some so-called mysterious ways. I don’t need any other god that needs validations and proofs and prophets and rituals and protection and irrationality. Moreover, I don’t need the god whom I can’t even hug. I have my very personal God with me, the Guava tree. 

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